40 weeks tomorrow, intending to have membranes stripped at appointment…

10 am~B reports an increase in pressure this day compared to days prior. I’m so excited to hear about any changes her body is making on its own.
2:21 pm~She’s feeling a little extra crampy while out and about. Thank God she’s out! Stay out as long as tolerable, keep yourself distracted and let your body werk!
7:29 pm~Now we’re thinking cramps are actually contractions, they have an irregular pattern but are frequent, not getting more intense though. Feels it mostly in her back. I’m hopeful this is true labor but mentally preparing for prodromal. Encouraged to rest on all 4’s for a period in case he’s posterior. Asked about his movements- good and normal!
8:04~Her and hubby winding down for the night, starting to time contractions. Encouraged rest and fluids, keep an eye on contraction pattern.
8:12~At home, in her bathtub. I’m at bible study-giddy! Contractions every 6 minutes, 30-45 seconds long.
8:43~She says they are only slightly uncomfortable, “not a big deal”. I tell her to stop timing and go to bed, try and fall asleep, let’s pretend this isn’t happening, if you get woken up by them then we’ll know and respond accordingly but remember it’s a marathon not a sprint.
9:53~she’s texting-some contractions are more intense than others.
Checked in on how she’s coping, comfortability with staying at home, ability to relax…feels she can talk through contractions, only a tiny bit distracting, doubts she’s in real labor but worried if it is she may wait too long.
10:05~average duration 45 seconds, frequency just under 5 minutes via an app. As long as she’s comfortable and relaxed I encouraged her to stay home until she cannot cope or be distracted from contractions, she agrees. But…
10:17~now she’s packing bags, prepping, reports tiny bit of anxiety but not stressed. I was afraid of this when the time came, but understand it’s her first and having a baby IS exciting!
10:29~needing reassurance to stay home, reports app is encouraging her to go to hospital though she “does not feel like a baby is coming”. I remind her all are normal feelings and understandable but you will ‘know’ if labor is active by a shift in demeanor or new symptoms, encouraged sleep one last time-she was in agreement. But…
11:50~she’s texting with her mother, sharing screenshots with me…Mama Bear concerned roads are getting bad with snow and urging her to go now. MB says she could talk through all her contractions through to the end with B brother. Very impressive coping! I’m curious what B thinks, she says they are stronger and “definitely hurt, but I ain’t no baby!” LOL. Wants to stay home a bit longer. I am cracking up.
12:12 am~thinks contractions are close enough now to head in to hospital, I try to bring her back to her coping as a better sign that it’s time to head in and remind her of her wish to have minimal interventions which longer hospital stays influence but she’s stuck on the app. Contractions 3-4 minutes apart. I get up and start warming up my car, finalize my bag and snacks, I want to be bedside for support but I sense we have a bit longer to go. Why didn’t I call her and listen to a few contractions or ask Dad’s perspective on her coping? Next time! I listen to Bundle Birth Nurse podcast on my way and pray for the staff to be accommodating to her requests and my presence. Accepting that this is her rodeo and new sensations can make plans change, you don’t know until you’re in it what you really want!
12:45~I arrive at Kettering Hospital. I find Mom and Dad in triage, cool calm and collected. Okay whew, we aren’t ‘there’ yet. Nurse reports she’s dilated 1-2 cm (which wasn’t much different than her last cervical check at OB office so I was discouraged for her but she didn’t seem to be bent out of shape about that number. Good girl!) they want to observe her for a few hours and see how she progresses, we opt to walk around unit. B is quiet on a regular day so I’m having a hard time reading her coping but she is able to converse and laugh naturally during some contractions, others she gets still for a time but not intent or focused yet. We walk and we talk and we talk and we walk, I am enjoying the time getting to watch them interact together.
4:26 am~Surprised but she’s finally admitted, dilation progressed only about 0.5 cm for all that walking she did. I thought the goal was 1 cm-what do I know?! I wonder if she wishes she was at home in bed or happy to be here doing the birthy things? I’m praying she doesn’t stall being here so early and that she can get some rest before things pick up. She got a nice birthing room with a tub, yay! They started an IV for the antibiotic since she’s group B positive. B rates pain 8/10, which has her husband and I eyeing each other-she’s still so quiet, more intent and focused during contractions now though, she slows down and closes her eyes though picks up right where she left off beforehand when the contractions taper off. She is definitely not out of control or struggling with the pains, letting them come and go as they please, beautiful especially for an 8/10!
4:40~Antibiotic done…let’s get her on a hep-lock and out of that bed! Headed to tub, she’s leaking fluid-it’s clear, that’s awesome! This is the part I didn’t prepare for…I know she’s very modest, obviously she’s going to get naked and I don’t want my presence to make her feel uncomfortable, maybe hubs will attend tub side and I can stay close by but not hover…good hubs, he senses her needs and holds up a towel for her to change into her suit behind. I hope she leaves her bottoms off, I’m not going to be the one to tell her lol!
5:40~things definitely appear stronger, her breathing is getting heavier and deeper, she’s restless, moving around a lot trying to get comfy in the tub with each one. I think the water needs to be higher and offer music but she doesn’t respond, she is getting in her zone. Spencer in bathroom with her providing support, I can see them across the room, they can hear me and I can hear them but I’m not in the bathroom with her, this feels like a reasonable boundary/support move. B decides to get out of tub and gets on the birthing ball. I encourage her to move and sway or bounce but she’s just still and settles in right where she is.
6:34~she’s tearful now about hip and leg pain with every contraction, we need to do some re-positioning but she really isn’t prompted or motivated by my position suggestions, she’s totally in tune with what feels right in her body even if it’s discomfort! Nurse Sara puts her back on monitor, checks cervix-dilated 4-5 cm 90% effaced…nauseous, lying still in bed for staff to work around. Such an accommodating patient, I want to tell them to leave her alone but I’ll refrain. I’m wondering if I’ll be able to sense if the time comes for her to ask for an epidural, will I push her towards her spoken desires for this birth or not intervene one way or another, I’m wondering if she’s miserable or in acceptance of the pain yet, I feel like her responses to the contractions escalated quickly.
7:24~Nurse Sara gets it…Monica on (wireless monitor) so she can get out of bed and moooove. She stays for a few contractions, remedies her shallow breathing and encourages her that she’s doing great, hubby looks so proud. Also clueless to what’s about to come hehe. I am trying to get my hands on her for massage and relaxation, she looks super uncomfortable but doesn’t move into my touch, when I ask her questions after contractions she doesn’t really respond clearly, definitely in her safe space. In our prenatal visits she said “just don’t ask me if I’m okay”. So I definitely don’t and take her lead for quiet.
7:40~in the tub again, Dad at her side, nobody’s talking but his presence appears to be enough for her, content to just be next to each other, so sweet! I’m across the room again, journaling.
9:20~7cm dilated, no bag felt, zero station minus 2. Holy Moly this is happening!!! B at bedside now, leaning over, rocking, counter pressure and hip squeeze all 4 hands on deck (me and hubs). With every contraction I encourage a new position but she stays right where she needs to be.
9:50~grunty in bathroom, bloody show, 8cm, nurse Sara and I offer shower and birth ball to her, encouraging her to sway or move her body but she’s comfortable being still and leaning over sink. Still in her flow, this is new to me but I start to trust her in her own body the way she is trusting herself.
10:55~wants to be in bed, 9cm, hard to get her attention now and get her to stay actively and intently breathing, she won’t open her eyes or follow my lead on breaths so I watch her intuition lead her the final stretch. I am still pursuing her to get off her back and try different positions on the bed but she is not interested. Nurse stays for a few practice pushes. Pretty soon everybody is in the room and she is seriously giving it her all, eyes closed not really responsive to our encouragement or leadings but she has got this all on her own.
11:15 Dr here now real pushing begins, hubs starts to look pale and a bit green, we each have a leg, she’s on her back barely sitting up but not interested in more effective positioning, imagine that! When will I learn to stop suggesting alternatives?! The nurses get Dad a chair and a drink and I take over his side for a few pushes then the nurses wheel him next to her sitting, she has no response or reaction to this but is intent on getting baby out and does not get distracted from that goal! Dr has taken over instructions and she is following all of it for these final pushes, my eyes are looking out for episiotomy and curious if he’ll be sunny side up. I can’t believe how quick the end of her labor came, beautiful cascade of natural events when Mom is truly in her space and flow!
11:45 We have a baby! He’s sunny side up for sure, I’m snapping pictures, Dad is beaming, Mom is tired, cries aren’t too loud or strong but they have him on her belly rubbing him with cord still intact so that’s great, nurse listening and assessing with him on Mom, I love that! B is trying to get him to nurse but I can tell he’s not there yet regardless of Mom’s natural inclinations. Nurse reminds Dr that Mom would like cord cut after it’s done pulsing to which Dr replies it’s been 2 minutes, cuts the cord. Nurse looks towards respiratory team because baby is floppy and a bit pale, was he always like that or is that secondary to the cord just being cut, hmm? Respiratory takes him from mom and starts giving him O2 via mask, he pinkens up but still floppy and cries aren’t strong, next thing they say he has a spontaneous pneumothorax and are taking him to NICU for cpap. Wait what. Mom and Dad don’t ask questions that are swirling around in my brain, Dad follows baby I stay with mom. What’s next is a blur, mom alert and happy not seeming concerned or worried at all, talking to Dr about placenta and not wanting Pitocin, I can tell Dr is anxious for this part to be over as she is often tugging on the cord gently. Respiratory Dr comes in says baby needs a procedure possibly a chest tube, still no questions from parents only smiles and thank you’s as their faith is stronger than mine. I’m still processing can’t get questions formed though, do I even have a right to ask questions here? She had no meds, it didn’t appear things were moving TOO fast. Finally the placenta is out and Dad is back at the bedside, happy as an otter talking about baby, obviously Mom has a strong urge to go to NICU to see him so they start preparing her for a wheelchair ride. I give my hugs and congratulations and head home. Chipotle and a nap STAT!
5:50 pm I text them to see how everybody is doing…Baby had air pulled off of his lung with a needle which has helped him, they even took him off cpap and he’s doing well Mom reports! She has had minimal skin to skin time and breastfeeding attempts due to all the wires and restrictions in NICU but not showing any concern that will prevent breastfeeding long term, she is full of faith this is just a tiny blip and they’ll be back on track soon. I still can’t fathom all this and feel like the only one struggling but I’ll take their lead and be full of peace and faith, happy to witness a beautiful, healthy birth regardless of missing puzzle pieces at the end ❤